Empty Places
by open hearts catch dreams
Summary: "Jess," she repeated, firmly, but voice just as soft. "I need to see Jess." - A tad off canon from the scene between Lorelai and Rory after hospital in 'Teach Me Tonight' -S2:E19- Lit scene - undertones/implied. Rating possibly a little high


**AN: Okay...If anyone reads any of my things on fiction press, you will know I am a little prone to rants. Here goes.**

**Okay, here's the bad. I just got this in my head and had to write it while I should really have been writing more of my original fic over there. I get a second free of college work, and this comes out instead of the next chapter of Megan's story**

**Second, this won't be continued. I do not do long stories well (the one on fp is the only one I am likely to finish to date) and I don't like leaving people hanging if possible**

**Third, I find it really ironic that I started watching GG from season six, or there about. I loved Rory/Logan and watched season 5 online to see the start. TV started from the beginning when season 7 ended and I got hooked on Rory/Tristan. Next, Jess was barely spoken about (17, got in trouble) and I was wondering already. The first scene of him and Rory, and I was even more hooked on those two!**

**Does anyone find it odd that the only pairing I can't stand is Rory/Dean? I kinda do. Rory/Marty, too, but I haven't seen that yet, so who knows?**

**Anyway, this is Lit, my current phase (and the one that i think will stick, if I'm honest). We'll have to see about any further one-shots but feedback will motivate me!**

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Goes _slightly _off-canon in 'Teach Me Tonight', season 2, when Rory is in bed after the hospital. You'll understand the slightly. I hope. I was a little disappointed with the way the scene panned out, so I tried to fix it.  
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**Enjoy**

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"…because when life really gets you down, Shenaide's really the one to teach you some perspective. -"

Lorelai drew half a breath to keep going but her fast paced monologue came to a screeching halt at the word that left her daughter's lips.

"Jess."

Lorelai's gaze sobered up, her smile slipping. That name was not something she even wanted to hear, let alone in the soft tone from the one person he'd hurt. She never wanted Rory to remember the name, let alone the person, but she knew it was too much to ask for. For reasons unknown to her, Rory saw something in the kid and they had connected in ways that even Dean had been able to see, if not truly understand.

"Huh?" Lorelai vocalised. She pleaded with her daughter, as they locked gazes, that she would say something else. Pretend she had said 'Mess' in relation to the accumulated pile of things around her bed, or anything but the kid's name.

Rory was not in a mind state to back down.

"Jess," she repeated, firmly, but voice just as soft. It was compassionate with no blame or distaste threaded into it. "I need to see Jess."

Lorelai twitched as struggled for something to say.

"Hun, I don-"

"I need to see him, mom," Rory pleaded, voice rising in slight hysteria. "I don't expect you to understand but you weren't there! He took care of me – he didn't even know he'd hit his head until I was practically being ushered into the ambulance! Please."

Lorelai fought herself in agony, torn between the pleading of her daughter's wish and her own desire to keep the two as far apart as possible.

"I don't know where he is, Kid," Lorelai decided on, tentatively sitting next to Rory's legs and picking at the blankets.

They moved under her touch and it took Lorelai a second to realise Rory was sitting forward and pushing the thick covers away.

"Rory, wha-" she stuttered in shock. "It's like, beyond midnight."

"I know," Rory agreed adamantly, with an air of forced calm. She focused solely on folding her pyjama bottoms into her pair of long ugg boots, finding the task awkward but not overly difficult even with the one hand.

"Aaaand you have a fractured wrist," Lorelai continued, hoping the light banter tone would jog Rory into normal thought processes. Even so, she knew the shock of seeing her so determined in this particular venture came through in her voice.

Rory turned to her, more serious in her expression than she'd been even at the hospital.

"Mom…I know you don't like him, and I know you don't trust him and I know you're worried, but I have to see him. I fractured my wrist, not my leg. I can walk all around town until he turns up."

"Maybe he doesn't want to be found," Lorelai shrugged. Her voice lowered to an aggravated mutter that even she wasn't sure if she intended Rory to hear. "Why would he if he got my daughter into a car accident?"

Rory's darkening expression told her that she had both heard and deemed it the last thing to say under the circumstances.

"It wasn't his fault!" She protested vehemently.

"Of course it wasn't," Lorelai retorted sarcastically, her ire at the boy falling through the dam of concern and cheer she'd built for Rory. "He was behind the wheel."

"Something ran into the road!" Rory argued, throwing her arms up. "If I was driving, I'd have swerved. He did what he could and all he cared about when it was over was getting me out and checking on me! He was bleeding and he needed me to tell him!"

Lorelai gasped for breath, unsure where to start. She didn't want to like him both on principle and the evidence, but Rory was right. She hadn't been there. _There _when the delinquent had taken care of her. She didn't _know_.

"It was an accident, Mom," Rory re-iterated, softer. "He didn't mean to crash or get me hurt or any of it."

"Fine," Lorelai blurted, nodding stiffly, feeling anything but. "It wasn't his fault; it wasn't yours; just an accident, blah. Can you please just sleep off the wacky pills and we can do this in the morning? When you're not tired, or delirious?"

Rory had hardly started to back down, but at that, her eyes turned blank and still. The effect was scary to the person who had only ever seen life and emotion; be it anger or joy.

"You think I'm delirious just because I want to see him?"

"I take it back," Lorelai surrendered hastily, wanting more than anything now not to fight. "No, kid. I just want you to get some rest."

"Soon," Rory responded. She pulled open the door and headed for the hall briskly.

"Ror, you don't know where he is," Lorelai tried, scampering after her. "It could take hours."

"Don't wait up," Rory bit out, flicking her hair over her jacket collar. Lorelai pursed her lips against a sob as Rory turned to look at her, opening the door. She had no choice but to let her go. Rory was set. She wasn't coming back until she'd found Jess.

* * *

Rory had an idea of where to look. It seemed like it could be a bit of a Jess place, but what really gave her the indication was that it was the only place he related to a memory or invoked feeling, be it good or bad, since coming to Stars Hollow.

Luke had pushed him in, just up a little way from where they sat that day. Sure, he'd been pushed in a lake, but he'd been carefree, the memory not told like someone being grounded for bad behaviour but rather like a kid goofing around with an uncle.

The only other thing Rory could think was that people didn't go there. There were easier routes that stayed away from the sparse woodland. It was quiet and private.

Rory made a beeline for the bridge, but not even halfway there, she found what she was looking for.

Hands deep in her pockets, breath puffing out visibly into the cold air and hair blowing gently across her vision, Rory stopped to watch him and Luke across the square.

They were talking. Luke was a strange mix of angry and defeated. Jess looked indifferent as usual, a book in his back pocket and heavy jacket thrown over his thin form. Rory knew him better than she liked to believe, and better than he liked to think. The indifference was hiding the clear guilt that only she could see written in the lines of his face.

In the dark, across the space, she could not make out the bruise above his right eye that she knew would have formed by now.

Then he stooped. When he stood tall again, head high in defiance so like him, a huge camping back pack was slung over a shoulder, looking far too heavy.

Rory gasped as she took in where they were standing.

The bench the bag had been sat under was at the bus stop. The same one she used every day to get to and from Chilton.

That was a bus stop.

He was carrying a bag.

Jess' guilt, Luke's defeat…

No.

Rory started across the square, breaking into a run as dull, old headlights turned the corner.

She could beat the bus. To hell with the Gilmore exercise rule.

She was a little short of breath when she collided with the back of the bench a second later.

Luke and Jess looked at her in shock.

Something dark flickered behind Luke's eyes and for a second, Rory was certain he didn't see her, but someone else.

Jess' eyes were slightly bloodshot and Rory was struck mute for a second that maybe he'd been more torn up about the thing than he'd let on.

"You're leaving?" Rory asked, voice high. She felt the adrenaline in her blood rise, aware the drugs would still have some effect.

Jess wouldn't look at her. The bus stopped and the doors opened. Luke shifted uncomfortably.

Rory would bet her bottom dollar she was the last person he had wanted to encounter in getting Jess out of town. If not her, then her mother.

And in that flash, Rory realised who Luke had seen when she stopped in front of him a second before.

"What did she say to you?" Rory asked, irritation mingling with desperation in her tone.

Luke took a deep breath and Jess went still.

"It was nothing," Luke tried to wave off. His voice cracked and he fidgeted.

Whatever it was, it was not nothing.

"No, no, no, no," Rory rattled off. "Luke, it wasn't his fault!"

Luke squirmed, "Ror-"

"It wasn't!" Rory insisted. "You can't send him away."

"I don't have a choice!" Luke tried to explain.

"You always have a choice," Rory softened, trying to plead instead.

"Not th-"

"Ignore my mother," Rory said impulsively, correctly guessing Luke's hang up but not waiting for conformation. "She was worried and whatever she did or said she over-reacted."

Luke sighed loudly again.

Jess shifted uneasily and glanced up at the open doors. The bus driver did not look irritated; rather he looked like this was the best entertainment he'd had all night.

"Don't," Rory pleaded, turning on him.

Jess didn't answer. He ran a cursory glance around town.

"Jess," Rory murmured, eyes fixed on his illusive ones, voice wheedling.

Finally, he seemed to realise she wasn't going to walk away and with a visible effort, he brought his gaze to hers.

Rory's breath hitched in her throat at the pain swirling there. The guilt and the distress were heavy on her soul and she could only imagine what their weight did to him. In silence, she willed him to see in her own eyes that she didn't blame him, that he wasn't at fault for her to blame.

That she didn't want him to go.

Moments passed and slowly, Rory registered the change in his demeanour. His next breath was a little deeper, more even. His eyes lightened and though he was still swimming in guilt, something that would only be helped with time, the pain was soaked away with tentative relief.

At the same time, a defeated shadow appeared.

Rory shook her head, knowing she had changed nothing.

"No," she whispered. "Jess…don't."

Rory hadn't forgotten Luke was behind her, probably reading far too much into the entire thing than a friend trying to relieve another's guilt. Heck, Rory was reading too much into it.

Jess, apparently, _had_ forgotten about his uncle. He would not have done it otherwise. He just wasn't the type. Even later, Rory didn't truly understand it.

Carefully, but with no hesitance to speak of, Jess reached out. Tugging on Rory's jacket, he took a step into her personal space.

She didn't need any further encouragement. Wary of her cast, she threw her arms tightly around his neck, forcing her body against his and his grip on her jacket slipped around her waist.

A dull thud emanated from the pavement at their feet and his other arm banded around her. Everywhere they touched, Rory's skin scorched as if branded and she knew already that the second the night air came back, she would be twice as cold as before.

His breath was unsteady by her left ear and Rory fought the sting of tears, unsure where the emotions were truly coming from and too pumped to work it out properly.

"I'll come back."

The words were barely breathed but in the still darkness were there were three other living people, with only one of them real to Rory, they were tangible.

Her grip tightened imperceptibly, "Will you?"

"I…promise," he choked out. It didn't sound like something he had practice saying. Like he'd _never _said it before.

Rory bit hard on her lip, feeling a sob rise and shook her head as the 'no' she wanted to vocalise followed.

Rory unlinked her arms and Jess let his trail to her sides as she stepped back. He quickly gathered the bag from the pavement for something to do.

"Jess," Rory called hastily as he turned for the bus. "I don't blame you," she voiced, just to be sure their silent conversation was utterly clear. "It wasn't your fault and I don't want you to hurt over it."

A half smile tweaked his lips; the side Luke could not see. The parting was for her alone, a seal of his promise.

Still, she knew he would have to heal on his own. Her words could not help him from here.

Rory stepped back, carefully avoiding Luke because she did not want to see the shock or the distaste in his eyes, for either her or Jess.

It was at this that she realised why it had taken such conviction for Jess to look at her. He had feared seeing blame there, along with many other things.

She breathed a sigh of relief that they had worked that out.

She didn't want to see him be driven away, but she did not want to fathom how she would feel if Jess walked off if she were on the bus, so she stood and watched it out of sight, tears starting to course when he would not be close enough to tell.

She said nothing to Luke, and he didn't try to strike conversation. She reached up to wipe her tears and without a word, turned for home, knowing she had worried her mom enough.

"Rory," Luke called behind her.

His tone was blank, but not carefully so. It was more like he couldn't find it in him to have an emotion at that moment.

Rory looked back at him, now determined to find in his expression a sign he hadn't wanted Jess on the bus.

She was not disappointed. The anguish was written into the planes of his face, but when he continued, his voice was still empty.

"I know it wasn't his fault."

And that was the most she would get. She nodded, feeling a half smile tug her own lips for him and resumed her walk home.

She didn't know about her mother, but Rory and Luke would be okay; after they dealt with their own pain.

* * *

The door swung shut behind her and Rory sighed at seeing Lorelai camped out on the sofa, expression stern and blank at the same time over the lip of a huge coffee mug.

"You find him?" she asked, making an effort to sound indifferent.

Rory nodded stiffly, unsure where they stood. She hung up her coat. The cold of the night after Jess' hug had seeped into her soul in ways she didn't want to think on and the strange emptiness within was being poisoned by the knowledge that for once, her mother was not on her page.

"Jess is gone," she bit out, feeling her eyes sting again. Tomorrow, she was going to work out why she felt like that. "Have a party, I'm going to bed."

"Oh, Hun," Lorelai stood and followed her. "I don't mean to make you unhappy…I just…I was so worried and you know we never really got on too well and-"

"And you said something to Luke," Rory interrupted, desperate to throw something back at her. "I know you were out of your mind upset, but you said something and now Jess is gone!"

Lorelai floundered visibly. She didn't think Luke would have wanted to see her or Rory but if she had…maybe Luke had details about what exactly had happened before the boy left. Then she remembered Luke wouldn't tell her anyway and that was the point.

"Hun…"

"I'm sorry," Rory immediately apologised. She'd pulled off her boots and climbed back into bed. "I'm tired and my brain's fuzzy with everything the hospital had in the apothecary. I just want to sleep."

"Right," Lorelai nodded, hurt by knowing even drugs couldn't force her daughter to blow like that. "Well, you sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

"Night," Rory turned over and curled up, back to the door.

Lorelai left the doorway long enough to check the house and lock up. When she glanced in at Rory again only five minutes had passed, but she was fast asleep and had sprawled out, arm thrown to the side so that the minimal light from the open curtains threw distorted writing on the cast into view.

Lorelai crept closer, frowning as she tried to depict it.

She knew her daughter's writing. All she would have to work out was exactly why she'd scrawled on the inside of her wrist 'Dodger Promised'.

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AN: First actual attempt at a structured GG fic. Other ones, Trories got half formulated before I lost interest, like normal. One of them had Rory and Jess sharing an apartment in the future as friends and seeing as I'm now on the Lit bandwagon, that ship will likely never sail.**

**I don't quite think the voices are right on, even with the idea that it is kind of dark, so tips would be greatly appreciated. Let me know what you think, or if you think I should do more!  
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